Carnival of Pandemonium

 The slate grey mountains had overlooked Michael's path ever since he slammed the doors on his off white Mini Metro. It wasn't equipped with central locking so he still manually checked every door handle before heading on his way. He regularly got stick from his mates, family and even his mother about the age of his motor. Truth be told, he actually liked hearing it- it set him apart from his peers. Made him special in a way.  Anyway, today- he'd convinced himself- was going to be a good day. He'd finished work early on the Friday to take advantage of Michael Fish's sunny outlook and had booked a room in the Lake District at an out of season price. He'd decided to scale a few of the peaks before heading back to spend the evening with his new girlfriend Bryce. Their relationship had been flowering recently, and Michael wanted to move to the next level, but couldn't shake several seeds of doubt that had set root in his mind.  As he tied his faithful walking bo

 On Saturday I had the misfortune to drink rose wine.  Yes- right- first world problems- don’t be so ungrateful?!  I think it had been languishing at the back of the garage for a while and I had gone off drinking beer, plus we had no red or white, so I thought I’d take the plunge.  Worst decision ever…  It tasted like sweet, sickly, mass produced, non fizzy pop and evoked a taste so disgusting that my neck shrivelled itself inside out in protest. Right in that moment I decided to cut my losses and poured the glass down the sink. And my wife’s glass. And the whole bottle. Then poured boiling hot water down the plug. Then bleach. Then drain cleaner. Then more bleach. Then replaced the sink.  I simply do not know why anyone would drink the vile stuff. I didn’t even know how it had entered our house for that matter- I certainly didn’t buy it. Was it left over from university? I’m 38 now so hopefully not.  That got me thinking- and I came up with a theory about rose wine.  I think I got it

 All I ever wanted since I was young was a guitar. I was, in truth, in awe of musicians, especially guitarists. They made it look so easy- the ability to evoke such emotional change across millions of people- but of course, I knew, like thousands of others, that actually learning to play a musical instrument is actually incredibly tough.  The hours of practice, dedication, not worrying about making mistakes- the sheer pig headedness needed in order to continue when you seem to be going nowhere.  Then one day I actually acquired a guitar. Now was my moment. Now I would learn. Now I would be in a band. Now I would be playing to a stadium audience... well not quite. But at least I might be able to strum a few chords? Instead of treading the proper route- eg paying to get lessons from a qualified professional (keyword there... paying lol)- I decided that the online based learning route was the one for me (free of charge). Was this the best route? Maybe not- as I found myself cherry picking

 Hi everyone- what a silly number for an advice post- 38? Well it is quickly approaching my 38th birthday so I thought- why not celebrate by offering 38 pieces of advice? Here we go... 1. You simply cannot please everyone- you'll only end up alienating everyone. 2. Treat others as you wish to be treated. Seems an obvious one. 3. Preparation time is less than the time it takes to undo the results of not being prepared.  4. Don't cheat- you'll get found out. 5. There is always someone who can do the job better than you- sounds cruel, but a great mantra for delegating.  6. Read as much and as broadly as possible.  7. Smile as much as possible. It has great benefits for mental health and will lift the room.  8. You don't have to give answers straight away.  9. Consider everyone's opinions, but you have the final say.  10. Dedicate time to yourself. 11. Drink plenty of water. 12. Eat vegetables.  13. Try not to criticise someone until you have walked a mile in their shoe