Farty and his extra work

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 It was late at night. Nobody quite knew the time. Well I did because it was at the top of my iPhone screen. But I’m not sharing that. Anyway that isn’t important. I looked at the tiled wall. It was one of the better finishes of the house. The grouting was of a high standard. Worlds best grouter me! I imagined the burly tiler to say to his mates as they used my kitchen as a fart container. I wouldn’t know if this was true as I didn’t live there when this may or may not have happened. I can’t currently detect any stench so my only evidence is that he wasn’t a human pump machine. Might have been a woman. Unlikely though. That’s not sexist, just pure stats. Data. 

Fixed to the farty tile face was the worlds smallest radiator. Like a postage stamp. I nearly licked it and stuck it to a letter then stuck it in the pillar box. Glad I didn’t. I have smelt farty and his extra work. Plus my bathroom would be cold. The dial is set to 3. Who decided how hot cold or medium 3 is? Who are they to decide? Seems pleasant though 

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