Jessica's Pot Bird

 Suddenly, before I knew it, I found myself hurtling towards Jessica's house seemingly at the speed of light inside my Dad's clapped out Datsun Cherry. I didn't even know that the old banger could even travel at this speed. Secretly I was quite impressed, and of course a little bit scared- both of what might happen and just how quickly my Dad could shift when he wanted to. It had all been a bit of a blur- twenty minutes ago I was on the park- fair enough it hadn't been amongst my top five pleasantest park visits of all time but still- now I was sitting opposite Lewis Hamilton. The same question kept playing over and over again in my mind... how on earth had this happened???

Well, it sort of started like this. It was a normal afternoon on the park straight after school. I know I should have been revising for my end of year exams but, to be honest, it was sunny and frankly, I couldn't be bothered. Then all of a sudden...

"Hey...Hey..." I pretended not to hear. "Hey- have you suddenly gone deaf?!" Hmmm, my ignoring simply didn't work.

"Hi Jessica", I growled through gritted teeth. It was Jessica, the nosiest girl in the know year group who also could be the most annoying and would do anything to make you feel bad- plus she always poked her nose into my business. Why on earth wouldn't she leave me alone?

"Well that's not much of a welcome is it? Normal people say hello you know Hairy Clairey". So now you know my name- but I'm NOT hairy- although I am called Claire, but not 'Clairey' as Jessica said. 

"Hiiiiiiiyyyyyaaaaaa Jessica", I replied in my mock American mall girl accent, which incidentally I was becoming rather fond of, but it seemed Jessica and her girl squad couldn't take my joke.

I felt some hands grab my backpack. What on earth were they doing? Suddenly, I felt my self spinning round- the trees, slide, swings and even the roundabout became a blur. Before I knew it, I was the floor and all I could see was 3 mean girls looking over me, pointing and shouting inaudibly. The sky clouded over and I wished I'd done my revision instead. What was so good about the park anyway?

"You fancy the new guy in school..." I could finally make out Jessica's bleating penetrating into my poor eardrums.

"You fancy Jake! You fancy Jake! You fancy Jake!" As if this wasn't bad enough, soon the whole park could hear and quickly everyone started to join in! The chant became deafening- deafening and completely embarrassing. I had finally become famous, but for all of the wrong reasons. I wanted the ground to swallow me up. 

"Jake! Jake! Jake!" Soon people were even looking through their front windows, wondering about all of this commotion that that weasel Jessica had started. I half expected the local TV and newspapers to coming round. The mad thing was, I didn't even know who this new boy Jake was who I supposed fancied. Yet here I was having my life destroyed. 

The aforementioned blue eyed boy Jake eventually turned up next to me and for one horrific minute I actually thought he was going to plant a kiss on me. I can tell you now dear reader, I definitely DO NOT fancy the new kid Jake, that's for sure. In the melee Jessica reached towards me...

"Hey, what on earth are you DOING!?" I squealed trying in vain to beat her pawing hands away. "Get OFF me! Give that BACK!"

Before I had a chance to recover, I realised that she had whipped off my BRAND NEW back pack and was running towards the duck pond with it. Please... noooo... please... I chased after her relentlessly. There was no way I was going to let this silly mall girl make off with my backpack- that I paid for myself- I had spent far too many early Sunday mornings delivering papers to let her get away that easily. 

The problem was Jessica was fast. Far too fast for me. She was the school cross country captain... and I was the chess captain. No matter how hard I tried, she got further and further away. She got within a few metres of the pond, turned, grinned... and well... you can guess what happened next. All I remember is standing knee deep in pond water, fishing around for my bag. On the upside it was actually quite refreshing to be honest. However, on the downside, I was surrounded by 100 school children, all laughing and pointing. 

So that's how I got into this rather strange situation. The Datsun Cherry was hurtling down the road at breakneck speed- it's rust flying off into the distance- whilst I was trying to think of ways to calm my Dad down. He'd gone up massively in my estimation though- how brave was this!? Driving to Jessica's house to confront her parents. I kind of knew I'd pay for it later, but right now, it was simply exhilarating.  

"Ok Dad... I'm like super impressed... but what are you actually going to say to Jessica's parents?"

"I'm simply going to say that I will not have my daughter bullied by anyone else and they better pay for a new back pack..." replied Dad with a manic look in his eye that I hadn't ever seen before.

"Yeah... I'd be careful with the b-word Dad, that'll really get their backs up..."

"Well, I'm simply not leaving this Claire. My daughter ought to be able to live in a world where she can go to the park without being bullied and come home with a dry backpack and... and..."

"There's the b-word again Dad... " Dad seemed to live in an alternative reality- one where nasty, teasing school children didn't exist, one where you didn't get picked on for being the captain of the chess team and for genuinely enjoying Debating Club. "Why don't we start by being calm? Calm is good..."

"Yes... calm. Yes you're right. Calm. We'll discuss it like adults. I expect they'll invite us in for tea and biscuits and all come out laughing about the whole thing..." there's that alternative grip on reality again.

"Calm's a good start... be the bigger person..." I reminded him as he pulled up the handbrake. I still wondered how many pulls that brake had before eventually it would come off in his hand. 

He opened the door and strode to the porch, giving the bell an aggressive press in the process.

"Caaaaalllmmm... and mind the b-word", I said soothingly, when really I was by now very conscious as to what would happen tomorrow at school. 

As a blurred figure approached the door, my heart skipped a beat. I had hoped they'd be out. 

"Hello? Can I help? Is there a problem?" It was Jessica's mum. 

"Erm... very well. Yes there is a, has been a, problem just half an hour ago actually"

"Oh... can I help?"

"As a matter of fact you can as it concerns my daug....." Dad was cut off by shrieking and a big toothy grin.

"Hiya! It's Claire from school- I haven't seen you in aaaaaagggggeeeeesssss the last time was that party back in... well then when would that have been well now it was about over a year ago so it must have been Year 6 for youuuu wow haven't you grown!!?? Have you come to ask for Jessica? Aw terrible news she's not back yet- what is she like???" Hmmmm, this stand off wasn't going quite to plan.

"Well, be that as it may", replied my Dad, "It turns out that your daughter has thrown my daughter's back pack into the duck pond at the park- only 20 minutes ago..."

Jessica's mum's cheery demeanour suddenly changed. Her arms folded defensively across her chest, her lips pursed together and her eye balls widening accusingly.

"Is that so? Is that so?"

"I'm afraid it is so" replied Dad triumphantly. Maybe not his best move. 

"Is it? Well, I'll have you know that my Jessica is the best behaved kid in that school and definitely, DEFINITELY would not throw bags into the pond!"

"Well I assure you- that's what happened- isn't it Claire?" To which I nodded sheepishly.

"My Jessica reads to old people at weekends, does her granny's shopping, helps around the house, she's even in the Girl Guides! She'd NEVER do this!" Which I knew was all complete rubbish. My blood began to boil and I could sense my Dad's was too. He removed his glasses and started to rub his forehead in that way he did when he knew he was getting nowhere. He played his trump card. 

"Now I don't want to accuse your daughter of the b-word..."

"The b-word? Whatever could you mean? The b-word?! How DARE you use language like that on my front door step!!??" I think she thought he meant an altogether different b-word... "I suggest you clear off this instant!"

"Now look- your daughter is clearly no angel- and I want a brand new back pack for my daughter, and I'm not moving until I get one..."

"If you don't clear off this property in 5 seconds, I will ring the police!"

"Now come on!" Dad protested.

"5.... 4... 3..."

At this Dad must have spotted something stood on the telephone table just inside the front door then suddenly bolted back to the Datsun.

"Claire! Run! Run!" I didn't need asking twice, but prayed that the faithful car would start first time.

"Here!" said Dad firing the car into action, "Take this!" He threw a small porcelain life sized pot bird into my hands. "It's not a new back pack. But it's something"

How on earth could I go to school now?